is this the real life
is this just fantasy
caught in a landslide
no escape from reality
open your eyes
look up to the skies and see
i’m just a poor boy, i need no sympathy
because I’m easy come, easy go,
a little high, little low,
anyway the wind blows, doesn’t really matter to me,
to me…
the huge pineapple guava tree
feijoa
in the front courtyard
is loaded with fruit again
this tree from southern brazil
is drought tolerant
and yet so bountiful
each fruit grows
from a small red and white flower
the petals are edible and sweet
me and the birds compete
to eat the blossoms
when they grow in the summer
the fall signals the bearing of fruit
up to 3 inches long
each falls to the ground
making itself
freely available
to all who care to eat it
certainly
the most evolved
form of life
on the planet
is the fruit plant
which provides food for others
as a way of prospering itself
the young master
is so cute
at nine months
we go to the park
comfortably in the stroller
and swing my lord almost daily
even though it gets dark at 4:30pm
he is so pampered
by his mom
and dad to a lesser extent
to show his displeasure
he throws toys to the ground
quite strong
fast on the crawl
a good climber
still a very light sleeper
easily disturbed
wakes up frequently
through the night
even at the slighest sound
sush gets no sleep
even at nite
our lord wakes every hour
and wants to be fed
sush does not get to take a break
from sid
mommy is very attached to jad
and loves our papu to death
but she is extremely tired
haven't not slept for 8 hours
for the last 9 months
she sends most of her time alone
always with him
just the two of them
i feel so guilty
i want to stay home more often
just to help her out
little buddha likes to stand
jadu can remain standing
for three or more seconds now
the mother's favorite child
is a lot more aware of his body
he directs his falls
towards his bottom
gautama is very agile
and is really good
at reaching out his hands
to break his falls
and so thereby
prevent his face
and head
from hitting the ground
the young master
is so cute
and quite a ham
everyone seems to like him
jad is growing each and every day
baby likes to make a sound
while playing with his lower lip
with his fingers
just like his daddy taught him
he does this very often
to cope when he is bored
it is so cute
my master has become very attached to me
and we thankfully
spend lots of time together
my lord watches everything i do
and learns from me each day
my teacher is also my greatest pupil
i will never have a more important impact
on any other individual
than little buddha
i must always be aware of this
my role
as his guru
i'm in the middle of a mid-life crisis
or so it seems
i am unsure of what to do
for a career
i entered real estate
and sure enough
sales in the area are off 40%
in the last few months
no one is buying
or selling at a realistic price
my feelings are all over the place
i go from utter despair
over being a complete failure in life
not knowing how to do anything
not wanting to do anything
not sure what to do
or not knowing if its even possible
to earn a living,
a decent wage,
anymore
to feeling complete sadness
that my marriage is on the rocks
that i have a strained relationship
with my wife
lacking needed intimacy
to fearing losing her and baby
fearing poverty and loneliness
to being thankful
that i am spending some time
precious
irreplacable time
with my lord
that the mother's favorite child
is healthy
and growing stronger each day
moments of joy
in being alive
with the buddha
moments
of being in the moment
moments
of
silence
