cool morning
warming by noon
cold evening into blistery night
ocean clear and blue
curving along a narrow beach
cliffs occupied with homes
raising into layers of mountains
separated by dry valleys
staring at endless waves
we walk along a dirt path
lined with tall palm trees
kicking up dust storms
on our way to farmers market
sampling fruits and flowers
then ice skating for an hour
a child too sweet for words
forming a bond that cannot be replaced
as it starts to become comfortable
abruptly daddy day ends
in tears
my child leaves
me crushed
tears flowing
failure and loss
overwhelming
desperate to escape
i call friends
chat with strangers
go to vegetarian meetups
work on this cause and that
it helps for the while
until i am alone
broken again
seeking continuity
thought manufactures pain
through attachment
dependency
and self-pity
totally unrelated to the moment
psychological pain is mere illusion
a problem of the privileged
completely unnecessary for survival
thought serves it up unrelentingly
pushing all the right buttons
into the programs that we are
knowing full well that emotions
is the gateway to ego preservation
i have to accept all this
there is no way out
life is what it is
you play the cards you're given
until the game is over
a few win the money race
but most lose in shame
there is dignity in not competing
thought will go on
playing its games
all powerful and consuming
i can never end thought
thought can only end me
