Friday, February 19, 2010

birthday stress




majestic
snow capped mountains
beckons the earth bound
to pristine heights
staring in awe
eternity unfolds
into temporary bliss
soon to be melted
in 80 degree weather
until it rains again

unbeknown to a father
who doesn't celebrate numerology
a child turns four
on a drama filled day
mother and grandma
wanting him near
on daddy's day
taking a long while
to bring him out
for the battle to begin

"will you give him his medication"
what medication
"anti-biotic"
not again
that's the fourth time
in as many months
faster than lightening
she snatched him
clear out of my arms
as the child explodes
in painful tears
of separation
of lack of control

after promises
to return him in two hours
she released her possession
in bitter tears
cursing and hating everyone
"i will hit you"
"i don't like no one"
that's okay, son
i understand
let's laugh and have fun
we did
healing in body and mind
with each passing moment

returning two hours later
for his medication
only five minutes late
we are greeted by the police
the child worries
"are they going to take you away"
"why did mommy call the police"
poor, helpless child
knowing only hate
fear
pain of separation

at the end of daddy day
we return once again
to his owner's house
but she wasn't there
late for an hour
visiting her lawyer
couldn't be bothered
about a father's time

tired
the day prior
she asked for four extra hours
of free time
we didn't mind
playing trucks
with little signs of sickness
but the child gets worst
every time he leaves dad
to deal with a stressful mother
hot and cold
like a yo-yo
treating child and father
alike

still in shock
i sometimes hold out hope
for us
wishing togetherness again
how can so little
have been made
into such a high mountain
of anger and hate
unless it was there
all the time
barely covered hostility
waiting
waiting
for a sperm
exploding when it arrives

fathers destroyed
in sins of mothers
children suffer
all their lives
hoping to overcome
a lifetime of pain
but only achieving
the same fate
as the others

in the moment
on another daddy day
mountains of pain
evaporates
with a child's laughter
ah joy
nothing else matters

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

animals




cold rain
downpours all day
a few days each week
trees green, happy
shrubs rejoice
grass smile
earth moist, clean
at the regional park
ducks and coots loiter
egrets pose
suddenly, an alarm
small birds take flight
as a hawk cruise by
a bald eagle call to another
as we feed bread to the ducks
we are chased
by aggressive male geese
we watch as they chase and abuse
then gang rape a female goose
each male taking a turn
as other males press her head to the ground

are all males rapists
inherently violent
how does human male sexuality
ongoing from puberty to death
affect the minds of men

jad is such a sensitive child
a natural ethical vegetarian
just like his dad
his innocence turns to activism
he tells men fishing
not to kill the fish
so others can see them play
"i talk to the people
and tell then not to kill animals
and not to eat animals"

everything i tell him
everything i notice
is copied and repeated
"my cousin" this
and "my cousin" that
"my cousin is a vegetarian"
"my cousin don't eat animals"
"my cousin car has a flat tire"
"my cousin has a big truck like that"

our trip to the animal shelter
results in immense sadness
so many animals needing a home
older cats, dogs and rabbits abandoned
broken children's toys
bored and lifeless
trapped in small cages
outliving human interest
waiting to be killed
to make space for the next batch

jad begs to take a pet home
but i am wary of their cost and care
i empathize with these hapless creatures
abandoned by my child's mother
i too wait in vain
of adoption by a kind companion
a rapist in waiting