the divine

a life spent
loosing myself
in two
long-term attachments
giving daily
affection
attention
dedication
education
endlessly

when i changed
caring for animals
instead of eating them
i gained morality
but lost mutuality
respectability
useability
abandoned
called an idealist
extremist
selfish
unaccomplished

suffering deeply
weeping bitterly
seeking eagerly
but warily
remaining alone
rediscovering myself
and nature
determined
to be with someone
similar
or not at all

longing
to give myself
remaining
loveless
hopeless
dreamless
aimless

lacking resources
an offer to help
dispeled the darkness
someone similar
cared
a beautiful goddess
younger
but much wiser
appeared

was it too late
am i too old
to be loved

empty heart
be still
a mere mortal
cannot seek the divine

meat programming 1

the morning ocean was glass

dolphins bobbed in and out

gently

the air cool and clean

at the park

a big hawk scooped overhead

silently

eagles cry and hummingbirds chatter

so many birds

a baby turtle in the pond

the sunset was gorgeous

bright red clouds way up high

shades of pink all around

baby pink lower on the horizon

dozens of pigeons circled

thankful for a blessed day

i am so upset today

picking up jad at school at one

in his backpack are dead creatures

a huge container of smelly eggs

and a slice of pepperoni pizza

he claims eggs are not animals

and doesn't know that peperoni is pig

we fight over it in the car

on the way to swimming lessons

with jason in a heated pool

he can almost make it halfway across

in karate

he said he sparred with a smaller girl

and he allowed he to win

"she was so cute"

but then he sparred with the teacher

mr. s, and won

he started piano lessons

and knows the scale starts at c

in the park

we ride along the planet walk

to the island home on the other side

park our bikes under the spiral slide

and dig for buried treasure

he can read most of the park signs

names and descriptions of animals

these days he complains

everyone in class says he is so short

they all want to be taller

girls and boys

make fun of him

for being the smallest

except his best friends

sai and declan

during the annual jog-a-ton

he ran 20 laps

more than most of the others 1st graders

he blames mom

for forcing him to eat meat

i always take lots of fruit

watermelon today

and buy him food from veggie grill

mac and cheese

chicken fingers

salad

he likes them all

curry and rice from loving hut

chinese food from veggie wokery

dal and rice i occasionally cook

going on halloween trick and treat

he gets more candy than anyone else

"because i'm so cute"

but he said he did not eat even one

since i always warn him

about high fructose corn syrup

he is doing good

he luvs animals and nature

i wish his mom was vegan

i cannot blame him for her poor choices

and lack of compassion

for the earth and animals

jad pics

jad pics 10


jad pics 11


jad pics 12

i'm six!

living at the beach is heaven
mild winter
hardly any rain
sea and sand
clouds and sky
mountains west
catalina island east
newport pier south
huntington pier north

dad and son in the middle
describing the painting
as jad counts to three
and takes off for the "cliff"
we race and jump with abandon
to our landing spot below

fast runner and good jumper
luvs to boggie board in puddles
rides a 16-inch bike
no training wheels for over a year
can identify all cars from their lights
likes police toy cars
luvs black widow action figure
me doing deliveries with toy trucks
in radiator springs playroom
diego and dora dvds still rule
as do reading native american stories
about animals and death
"girl who loves wild horses"
"beyond the ridge"
well behaved in school
one of mrs. clanton's best students
likes computer lab and starfall website
native foods and vegi wokery

jad's had many identities
and each comes with the clothing to suit
police who shoots bad guys with sleeping darts
swat police with electric stun gun
singer like jenifer lopez, pitbull and bruno mars
spy with lots of lasers, motion alarms, etc
luvs his video watch and spy sunglasses

much in demand by geeth and other friends
sai, joey, damius, isaiah, mera
dad, when is school again?
i want to go and say, "i'm 6"!!!

ending thought is being a child again
learning to play with abandon
life is a dance
the music comes from inside