reality bites

show me the meaning of the word
show me the meaning of the word
'cause i've heard so much about it
they say, "hey, you can't live without it"


welcome to the human race
with its wars, disease and brutality
you with your innocence and grace
restore some pride and dignity
to a world in decline


welcome to a special place
in a heart of stone that's cold and gray
you with your angel face

chrissie hynde, pretenders

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that human life must be a kind of mistake is sufficiently clear from the fact that man is a compound of needs, which are difficult to satisfy; moreover, if they are satisfied, all he is granted is a state of painlessness, in which he can only give himself up to boredom. this is a precise proof that existence in itself has no value, since boredom is merely the feeling of the emptiness of life.

arthur schopenhauer

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nights are freezing
mornings and evenings are cool
by mid-day it is 70 degrees
until 6 pm
it starts to get cold again
especially on the south side
of the valley
shaded by the mountains

it is 5,000 feet high
this valley floor
cold because of its elevation
but relatively warmer
because of the mountains
which trap heat
and breaks the winds

the mountains tower above
another 5,000 feet
above the yosemite valley
beautiful sheer faces
with magnificent profiles
each one
el capitan, half dome
north dome, sentinel dome
each with its own character
features
history

this sacred valley
of the miwok
and others
was carved
out of granite rock
by the power of water

powerful glaciers
made the first impressions
many others
over several ice ages
deepened the u-shape slope
to a depth of 7,000 feet
below the high sierra

in between each ice age
rivers and steams made their cuts
of the emerging mountains and valley
while expanding ice chiped away at the cliffs above
and rockslides added to the 2000 feet of fill
above the bedrock
carved out by the glaciers
that now forms the valley floor

water
from melting snow
form into
streams
creeks
rivers
ponds
rapids
waterfalls

water
as countless drops
along with the forces
of gravity
and wind
meander along
from the mountain tops
accumulating into steams
as it climbs down from the high sierra
into the valley
where several steams come together
to form the merced river
which flows out the valley
to the foothills below

the sounds of water
reverberate throughout the valley
from the continuous roar
of upper, middle and lower yosemite falls
add to this excitement
raucous rapids
and a burbling river
and you have a symphony in change

change is constant
the mighty yosemite falls
will be no more
come august
the gushing merced river
a gentle stream almost
in late summer
even the mountains
change slightly each year

the lord loves it here
running after squirrels and birds
pointing at the falls and streams
playing in the sand
by a stream
going for walks
in the pack on daddy’s back
being held while on a bus
looking at everything
taking in the constantly changing scene
seeing so many people and kids
cars, bicycles, buses
just loving it to be outside
all day
this is really a good trip for him
mother’s favorite child
wandering inside her favorite room
yosemite

so much beauty outside
such ugliness inside
no matter where i go
there i’ll be
with all of my
hunger
anger
fraustration
depression
hate
confusion
desire
selfishness
boredom
mediocrity

i expected so much
to change
in yosemite
to think different
to feel different
to act different
instead i found
i am the same
cheerless
in paradise
more unhappy
than usual
because i expected
to be less so
while here
and i am not
more convinced now
that i never will be
better
ever

i greet each new day
with the same personality
there is no discovery
only useless thoughts
unceasingly
second after second
minute following minute
hour behind hour
day into nite
year in and year out

i stare
at a beautiful waterfall
but i don’t see it
i only see myself
what i want
the falls to be
how i can use it
what can it do for me

i want the stunning mountains
to help me escape
from myself
to make me forget
my worries
my pain
my emptiness

i want this astonishing meadow
to give my life
meaning
joy
happiness

i never see
the falls
mountains
meadows
the way it actually is
without my desires
trying to make it
into something personal

as jk points out
the observer
is the observed

i stare
with eyes open wide
but with a closed mind
too busy
to stop
and just look

i never made it to yosemite
because i never left
inside my head

the fall
is
when i am not

the fall is there
only when i am not there
silent
without
a single movement
of thought