Tuesday, June 24, 2008

necessity


with parents
in eternal conflict
for children
financial necessity
can be a good thing

lack of money
limits both parents'
choices
and ability
to escape from marriage
and household relationship
and to break up
the child's family

with all humans
in perpetual conflict
most parents
who refuse to stay together
for the sake of their children
are grossly irresponsible
and deeply flawed

many mothers
who refuse to put up with
further conflict
with their child's father
fail to recognize
and understand
the true nature of conflict

why is this so

what does a history
of bad relationships
say about our own childhood
and family interactions

those who fail to understand the past
are bound to repeat it
again and again
furthermore
insanity is doing the same thing
over and over
and expecting a different result

mothers
who dispose of fathers
faster than a used tampon
loose all credibility
in making personal decisions
for their own children
because not only did they choose
the wrong person in the first place
but they willingly compounded their fatal mistake
by having children afterwards

to make matters worst
and to continue a pattern
of bad decision-making
mothers finally decide
to correct their original error
the one of choosing to go out
with the devil himself

and so on one fine day
they pack their bags and leave
the conflict-ridden pits of hell

but only after their children
have bonded with the evil man
and become attached
to the nightmarish place

alas
given where they are going
to the land
of personal loss
emotional pain
and childhood emptiness
the damned children
have an eternal longing
to put their parents together
and return
to mom's life in hell
but paradise to them

mom refuses
to live with the devil
nonetheless
lives each moment
with her own demons
in endless thought
in endless conflict

Sunday, June 22, 2008

motherhood



ego is based
on our experiences
our upbringing
our parents

our particular patterns
of thought
values
customs
morals
relationships
are copied largely
from our patterns

we are not unique
nor are our parents

our thought patterns
and so-called "unique" ideas
on how to live our life
are thousands of years old
shared by millions

all of us
in conflict

no pattern of thought
religion
lifestyle
or opinion
has of yet
caused thought
to cease its conflict

regardless of how
we chose to live our life
good or bad
right or wrong
selfish or "unselfish"
rich or poor
healthy or destructive
we live in conflict
with our self
and each other

we live in our thoughts
and rarely notice
that we even do this

too busy always
to see
the flowers
and beauty of life
we pass each moment
of our dull day



the affirmation of motherhood
is more important for women
than it is for fathers

as rulers of the world
for thousands of years
male egos are affirmed
every second
every day

facing daily oppression
a mother' s ego
gains a tremendous boost
with successful childbirth

lacking meaning
direction
freedom
from conflict
inside and out
she immerses herself
completely
into the child

each mother develops
plans
for herself
for her children

ideas
based on
what they had
what they lost
what they want
what they can be
now
and in the future

they don't want to look back
years later and say
life could have been better
if i had done this or that

decisive action is taken
evasive action is accomplished
fear-driven action is maintained

in circumventing
fatherhood
mothers reinforce their own egos
and self-fulling prophecy
that fathers are unreliable

in a world
devoid of community
which was older women's
last vestige of power
and living within
individualized societies
where only young women are valued
and even so
worth not much more
than a pack of disposable condoms

in such a world
in order to maintain
self-esteem
and a re-incarnated ego
as mother
women are compelled
to throw daddy out
with the bathwater
in order to make room
for their own ideas
to affirm their role
as indispensable
thoughtful
caregiver

fathers
the thoughtless bastards
who perpetuate male dominance
get what they deserve
and are free
to oppress other women

the cycle
of conflict
of thought
continues

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

tough love




a father finally understands
why the eternal mother
with the intelligence
of the collective universe
made this outcome
a reality for her favorite child
as each child is

this reality
a broken family
is necessary
for a world teacher
to end attachment

how will the young master respond
being forced to hate
part of youself
constantly
compelled to choose
your right eye or left
each day

will you respond
through daily practice
of disattachment

to deal with
insecurity of a broken home
feelings of loss for your father
loneliness and longing for dad
frustrations of not being able
to talk about your father
listening all day to negative comments
about your father
abour half of yourself
confusion of what constitutes family

if you survive this test
which half of your peers also face
and don't delve into escape
like dad
you may become normal
like mom

but you must also survive
your parents' conflict
to not repeat the cycle
to not become
like dad
or mom

then
you can ask
who you are
why you are
if you are

Sunday, June 08, 2008

do the right thing




why do you do anything

each time
you enter a stale environment
and encounter the same person
you’re in relationship with
you react in the same way
and you immediately assume
you completely understand the situation

but
can you ever know
everything
about anything
even the smallest thing

everything is infinite

it doesn’t matter
you continue to believe
irrationally
that you completely understand
the person
the relationship
and the situation

based on incomplete understanding
you assume you clearly perceive
a problem
within
the person
the relationship
the situation

but
is it really a problem
or just a perceived problem

there are real problems
of survival
food, clothes and shelter

however
not having a million dollars
is not the same kind of problem
as starvation
which exists for millions
most problems of personal relationships
is not the same as abuse, crimes and war

are most psychological problems
imagined
and not real
the conflict is real
but is it necessary to have conflict
it is possible
to live your life
with less psychological
and relationship conflicts

nonetheless
in daily life
you live in psychological conflict
which you assume
is caused
by
this and that person
these and those relationships
the wrong situations

you spend your life
addressing causes of problems
and as you solve one problem
your create four others
unknowingly
your life becomes more filled with conflict
as solutions, causes and problems multiply

as you grow older
life becomes
extremely complicated
this is exactly
what thought wants
continuity
permanence

you rationalize
your obsessions
with psychological conflict

life is supposed to be like this
you’re just unlucky
its only your relationships that’s bad
all others are happy
you haven’t met the right person
you just need to encounter the right situation

along with endless psychological
and relationship conflicts
you live with the eternal hope
that someday
somewhere
you’ll meet someone else
whom you can live with
at least for a brief moment
without further conflict

maybe
the conflict emanates from you
and maybe
most psychological conflicts
are completely unnecessary




what are one’s choices
in regards to a perceived problem

question assumptions about it
- is it really a problem
ignore it
obsess over it
try to come up with solutions
- take action
- leave the environment

what is right course of action
for psychological conflict

to continually create new ones?

those whose lives we affect
with our decisions
also have to live
with our actions
good or bad
for them

we convince ourselves
that we took the right action
to end this or that psychological conflict

we continually ignore
any further conflicts
our actions will cause
or the sacrifices
others will be forced to pay

we pat ourselves on the back
for taking decisive action
and call ourselves
martyrs
for the
guilt
pain
and suffering
we feel

with each passing day
we strengthen our beliefs
in our ability
and actions
to solve conflict
we hate the other person
we solidify our egos
we shore up the “i”

we all do this

is there a we
is there an i or you
or is it simply a process
our brains are trapped in

thought is happy
thought wins
every minute
every second
every time

thought continues
endlessly

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

facing ug

God and enlightenment are the ultimate pleasures, with their promise of uninterrupted happiness. Paradise, transformation, moksha, and self-realization, are all variations of the same idea of permanent happiness. However, these states are merely ideas, and do not exist.

Besides, the body cannot take uninterrupted pleasure for long, and would deteriorate quickly in such a state.

The root of all my problems, and of all human problems, is this longing for something that does not exist. In fact, wanting a fictitious, permanent state of happiness is actually a serious neurological disease. However, it is one that only "I" can solve, and it is almost impossible for "I" or anyone else to do so.

There is no spiritual faculty within me, such as intuition or faith, which could serve as an instrument to guide or save me. Intuition is nothing more than a form of subtle and refined thought, and faith is just a form of hope without any foundation.

There is nothing inside my head other than a collection of random memories.

There is no me or "I".

The notion of an enduring or permanent psyche or self, is merely a concept thrown up by thought.

The so-called "I" is born anew each moment with the birth of each thought.

However, I am trapped in this notion of permanent self, and there is no way out of my longing for permanent happiness either!

I cannot reason my way out of this madness.

Whoever said that man was a rational being deluded himself and deluded us all.

The driving force of human action is not rationality. It is power. Rationality is itself an instrument of power. The rationalist approach is based on faith in the ability of thought to transform the human condition. This faith in thought is groundless.

Thought is a divisive, and ultimately, destructive instrument.

Though is only interested in its own continuity.

Thought turns everything into a means of its own perpetuation.

Thought can only function in terms of a division between the so-called self or ego, and the world.

And this division between an illusory self and an opposed world is ultimately destructive because it results in the aggrandizement of the "self" at the expense of everything else. Thus, the self is completely irrational.

That is why everything born of thought is harmful in one way or another. So thought is not an instrument which can transform our condition.

All attempts to become free from the stranglehold of thought only perpetuate the self, and entrench us more deeply in thought.

All attempts at improving the self -
at detachment or renunciation,
positive or negative thinking,
understanding, knowledge,
meditation, religious or spiritual pursuits,
social reform or revolution
- all of these,
being initiated by thought,
can only maintain and strengthen the self.

These ideas cannot free me from thought.

There is no use in analyzing or trying to understand thought. There is nothing like observation or awareness of one's own thought process since there is no subject or observer independent of it. The division between thought and an independent subject or observer is an illusion created by that very thought. What we have is just another process of thought about "thought".

Spiritual and psychological goals also have no basis or foundation. What is it that attains the so-called enlightenment? What is it that realizes or transforms itself? What is it that attains happiness?

Absolutely nothing!

Thought and the self are nothing.

These goals have been projected by thought to keep itself going. And that's all there is to it.

As for death and afterlife, nothing inside me will reincarnate after death. There is nothing inside my head besides fear.

Fear of the unknown.

My experiencing structure cannot conceive of any event that it will not experience. It even expects to preside over its own dissolution, and so it wonders what death will feel like. It tries to project the feeling of what it will be like not to feel.

But in order to anticipate a future experience, my structure needs knowledge, a similar past experience it can call upon for reference. "I" cannot remember what it felt like not to exist before the body was born, and "I" cannot remember my own birth, so "I" have no basis for projecting my future non-existence. Yet the fear of death is the greatest fear of all.

Interestingly, there is a native or natural intelligence within each living organism. It is this intelligence which is operative in the extraordinarily complex systems of the body, for example, in the immune system. My acquired "intelligence" of the intellect is no match to the native intelligence of the body.

The native intelligence of the body is unrelated to my intellect, and therefore it cannot be used or directed to solve the problems created by thought in any way. It is not involved in the machinations of thought.

Thought is the enemy of this innate intelligence of the body. Thought is harmful to the harmonious functioning of the body because it turns everything into a movement of pleasure and the pursuit of permanence. This is the way it ensures its own continuity. The demand for pleasure and permanence destroys, in the long run, the sensitivity of the body.

The body is not interested in permanence. Its nervous system cannot handle permanent states, pleasurable or painful. But thought has projected the existence of permanent states of peace, bliss, or ecstasy in order to maintain its continuity. There is thus a fundamental conflict between the demands of the "mind" or thought and the functioning of the body.

The only freedom there is, is to be free from the very idea of freedom.

The universe has no cause, no beginning, and no end.

When somehow this realization sinks into us, when the whole field of the self is exhausted, only then can a physiological mutation take place.

When this occurs, the living organism is freed from the stranglehold of thought, and returns to its naturally peaceful condition. Thought then "falls into its natural rhythm" by coming into active function only when it is needed in a situation.

But this is not something that can be caused by any `effort or volition' on my part. In fact, the necessary condition for it to happen, is for all effort to cease.

And for a few, rare individuals, this self-perpetuating process of thought do come to an end.

However, this does not imply a state totally bereft of thoughts. The ideal of a thoughtless state is one of the many hoaxes to which many have fallen victim. When the self-perpetuating mechanism of thought collapses, what is left is a harmonious mode of functioning of the living organism in which thoughts arise and disappear in accordance with a natural rhythm and in response to a challenge.

Thus the problem is thought as a self-perpetuating process and not the occurrence of thoughts per se.

In the "natural state", the state of functioning of the body free of the interference of thought, thoughts are not a problem. It is not that there are no sensual thoughts, for example, in this state. But they do not constitute a problem. One is not concerned about whether the thoughts are "good" or "bad", or about whether they occur at all.

How can such a man have a sensual thought?' Actually, there is nothing he can do to suppress that thought, or to give room for that thought to act. The thought cannot stay. There is no continuity, and no build-up. One knows what it is and there it ends. Then something else comes up.

thoughts based on U. G. Krishnamurti's