tearing innocence apart

grey cool day
fog rolling in
high tide with low winds
a pod of dolphins
swimming slowly north
missing sea lion
weeks since it perched
searching for shells
watching sea gulls fly
we rescued a sea cucumber
washed up on the beach
the innocent child needs saving
but no one can help

"i want mommy and daddy
in my home
i was happy then
i want mommy and daddy"

nearing the end
of daddy day
upset child
with mixed feelings
all day mad at daddy
"i don't want to be with you"
cursing to see my reaction
then at the end
"i don't want to go"
18 hours out of 168 each week
is hardly enough time with a parent

as parental alienation takes it toll
hate fills a sacred space
once filled with a natural bond
affiliation shredded
for pieces of gold

a rock can never replace a father
regardless of how shiny it is
every child knows this
and do not understand why
adults pretend it does
divorcing themselves
from children's reality
destroying happiness
over stones

why do we waste our lives in greed
building sand castles
working until death
to make more
so that one great day
when we have enough
we'll be happy
that day never comes
and we destroy all life
all innocence
all happiness
in this hopeless pursuit

children are the voiceless victims
of this human disease
of gendered thought
who else but men
would create a world
that values money above life

children suffer in revolt
acting out to maintain their own sanity
until they too become infected
learning to replace innocence
with greed

completely selfish
adults don't take responsibility
for the conflict
we introduce in children's lives
blaming them is much easier
so we apply discipline
where love is needed

gendered mothers
value money and time
over family and children's emotional health
trapped in a patriarchal world
forced to justify fratricide
they take out frustrations on the innocent
throughout the day
forcing their children
into a physical and psychological corner

- go to the corner
- go to your room

this order reveals negative adult behavior
more than any action of a child
who merely models in kind
impatience
superiority
authority
anger
abuse

using 'tough love'
to raise a child
is more adult madness

no human can ever know love
mutual use is all there is
that's why childhood is a special time
one of less selfishness
we innately know this
but choose to forget
this time of innocence

to share that joy
adults have to live with a child
with infinite patience
without any authority
or reaction

love only exists
with complete absence of ego
in a state of the unknown
beyond thought

adult humans are the most tragic specie
destroying what we need most
trying to rescue children
when we need saving ourselves
tearing innocence apart
never ever knowing
that it's exactly what
we're searching endlessly for
all our lives

blooming at night

such a beautiful day
the beach was warm
even at sunset
the surf pounding close to shore
the air refreshing
summer is heaven
meaning lies underneath every leaf

for dad and son
its our death anniversary
a year after divorce papers were served

i've traveled a bit
down this lonely road
single, grieving
missing a three year old
then having to deal with him alone

first i blamed myself
then i blamed the child
lastly i blamed the woman
now i understand
its really the fault
of all men

are women as greedy as men
would a woman choose money
over the emotional health of a child
money may be most things
but its not everything
it doesn't compare to a child

people with money are crazy
they ruin a child's life
because of paternal poverty
then give rich lawyers the money instead
now they want my consent
to give more money to rich psychiatrists
to try to cure their child

who is insane
the three year old
or the guardians who would even think
of taking a three year old
to a psychiatrist

for what

- i am concerned about the way he is behaving
- i'm not sure what he says or acts with you
- he needs more consistency in behavior

i.e we need to follow her rules

are they "her" rules
or those of the grandfather
darth vader himself

this divorce is hell
i'm 47 years old
sometimes i cannot stand to bear another minute of it
its the most difficult experience i've ever had
i cry and write to recover

how does a three year old respond
to parental alienation
to a non-custodial dad who failed him
to the back and fort bickering
to the complete absence of love in his life

conflicted in his feelings
sometimes hateful
other times needing touch
he screams and throws food

how do adults respond to this

how long does it take
for a child
or adult
to heal from this abuse
somethings never heal

how much time
should we give a three year old
to accept his emotional death
and conform to the insanity around him

aren't mothers inherently more patient
what would drive a mother to psychiatry
so soon

is time a product of patriarchy
why is time important
time is money
all men can think about is money

the flower blooms at night
as men gather around
with shears snapping
counting the seconds
for day break
eyes gleaming in orgasm
at the thought of another convert
of more accumulation
of more greed