such a beautiful day
the beach was warm
even at sunset
the surf pounding close to shore
the air refreshing
summer is heaven
meaning lies underneath every leaf
for dad and son
its our death anniversary
a year after divorce papers were served
i've traveled a bit
down this lonely road
single, grieving
missing a three year old
then having to deal with him alone
first i blamed myself
then i blamed the child
lastly i blamed the woman
now i understand
its really the fault
of all men
are women as greedy as men
would a woman choose money
over the emotional health of a child
money may be most things
but its not everything
it doesn't compare to a child
people with money are crazy
they ruin a child's life
because of paternal poverty
then give rich lawyers the money instead
now they want my consent
to give more money to rich psychiatrists
to try to cure their child
who is insane
the three year old
or the guardians who would even think
of taking a three year old
to a psychiatrist
for what
- i am concerned about the way he is behaving
- i'm not sure what he says or acts with you
- he needs more consistency in behavior
i.e we need to follow her rules
are they "her" rules
or those of the grandfather
darth vader himself
this divorce is hell
i'm 47 years old
sometimes i cannot stand to bear another minute of it
its the most difficult experience i've ever had
i cry and write to recover
how does a three year old respond
to parental alienation
to a non-custodial dad who failed him
to the back and fort bickering
to the complete absence of love in his life
conflicted in his feelings
sometimes hateful
other times needing touch
he screams and throws food
how do adults respond to this
how long does it take
for a child
or adult
to heal from this abuse
somethings never heal
how much time
should we give a three year old
to accept his emotional death
and conform to the insanity around him
aren't mothers inherently more patient
what would drive a mother to psychiatry
so soon
is time a product of patriarchy
why is time important
time is money
all men can think about is money
the flower blooms at night
as men gather around
with shears snapping
counting the seconds
for day break
eyes gleaming in orgasm
at the thought of another convert
of more accumulation
of more greed
