hot and sunny weekend
cool wind in the air
invaded by people
ducks and coots vanish
from the park
camping and birthdays
cars and balloons
no place left
for the animals
short daddy day
ate and played games
until
"i have a great idea
let's go to the beach, daddy
let's take the piano
and all my trucks"
dressed
ready to go
all of a sudden
life came crashing down
a child gets hurt
bleeding
cut eyelids
tears and fear
for child and father
as i tried to stop the blood
"is my eye going to fall out
is my brain going to fall out
is it going to hurt a long time"
anguish and agony
band aids and hugs
child crying and then asleep
back to his owner
i tried to explain
through questions and threats
i didn't see what happened
its not a deep cut
he woke up crying
"no, i don't want to go"
but daddy day was over
she demanded her child back
i handed him over
begged to stay with him
to a closed door
with heavy heart
leaving slowly
to live with guilt and worry
pain of separation
uncertainty
fatherhood in question
inadequacy
needing a shoulder
having none
what have i done
am i bad for my child
is he better off
without a part-time dad
