florida 1207

lost in a sandbox in cerritos

immense blue ocean
playing with sand on the shore
powerful waves unrelenting
blowing shimmering globes with every crest
crashing in a thunderous roar
pelicans fishing in its wake
water clear, cold
surf lasting a few seconds, then gone
sea gulls pander for a morsel
squirrels scamper in and out
holes dug deep into the hillside
little black and brown pebbles
lay on top the soft sand
gems waiting to be discovered

chasing the waves
we run back and forth
hand in hand
across the universe
lost in rapture

plumerias are in bloom
yellow, white and red
all fragrant

pomegranates are ready
fresh from the side yard
addictive and our lord loves them

a mango, full and ripe
fell to the ground
perfect in every way
for the young master

a couple of lemons on the tree
a few tomatoes left
two bunches of plantains growing
one from a stem barely four feet tall!
lots of sugarcane still

spiders, spiders, spiders
black widows
brown ones
daddy long legs
small ones
mother will protect her favorite child
from her other children

how does one describe
beauty
nature
a child
change?

a year and seven months old
old in every sense of the word

aware of emotions and relationships
between myself and others
and scolds me as a result for
the least infraction
pouting at grandma
arguing with mom
slightly changing my tone
frowning at the tv

aware of the impact of words
says shit all the time
hears it from dad and grandpa
the two men in the young master’s life
the centers of power
revolving around our lord

i brought some small cars
buddha is now car crazy
spends more time playing by himself
pushing the holy cars on any available surface
making motor noises
just like daddy teaches
wants me to pick the sacred body up all to time though
so light
says dada and mo a lot

also helicopter, bye-bye, hello, no, grandma, grandpa, aunty
happy, happy, happy
more, cars, dog, cat,
oh wow,

fearful of spiders
friendly with cats and dogs
not friendly with people
more so with kids
stares a others a lot

finally got his first haircut

been busy working on a book about prejudice
hate it some days, others not
its mostly complete
need to keep working on it
need to get it out there

thought has been a less demanding of late
anger and frustration subsiding
life cooperating towards a momentary
ending of thought

life's a beach

nature's garden

a life worth dying for

whys this fussing and a-fighting?
i wanna know, lord, i wanna know
whys this bumping and a-boring?
i wanna know, lord, i wanna know now

we should really love each other (love each other)
in peace and harmony (peace and harmony), ooh
instead, were fussing and fighting (fussing and fighting)
and them workin iniquity (... iniquity)

fussing and fighting, bob marley

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hot summer day and nites are here
with a cool breeze here and there
trees are a blessing
for the shade they provide
mornings are best
with the night’s clouds not yet evaporated
the beach was glorious
expansive and playful
like a child enjoying the sand

we enjoy nature together
smelling flowers
looking at ants
bugs, grasshopper, spider, snails
birds, bees and butterflies
a rabbit, cats, dogs
shows such delight in them

by squeezing both hands
makes sign for breastfeeding
twists wrists
for all done

points to objects and say their names
moon
light, cat, dog, car

is very sensitive
cries if you shout at him
or hurt him accidentally
makes such a sad face
with an innocence that asks,
what did i do to deserve this?
so touching, it melts you
and you give in to whatever he wants

gets upset when bored
which is often
loves outside
still falls on his forehead
and puts everything in his mouth
now as a game with me
to see who wins
me preventing him
or he hiding it from me
of sticking it inside his mouth
before i can get to him
this is a game that i cannot ignore
or he’ll literally put garbage in his mouth
so i pack him up
and take him in the stroller
or inside
until the next time
he is in the mood
to play this game with daddy

almost a year and a half
my lord is
but already knows so much about life
physically and psychologically

the concept of
light and dark
on and off
open and close

that life is constant conflict and fighting
between dad and mom
dad and grandma/grandpa
dad/mom and uncle
mom and grandma/grandpa
grandma/grandpa and uncle

that life is constant pain and sorrow
baby gets hurt and cries
baby gets bored and cries
other children cry
mom cries
dad cries
grandma cries

that people are basically unhappy
everyone he knows is miserable
complaining half of the time
or arguing the other half of the time

that his life is a huge burden to his parents and grandparents
who constantly fight over having to take care of him

that a mother’s life is thankless
and taken for granted
that a mother’s work is never done
her day is spent cooking, cleaning
taking care of baby and dad
her nights taking care of baby
that even after years of this
mom can never stop worrying
or feel that she has done enough
or feel that anyone is appreciative
of even one percent of her work

that communication is proving that you are a better person
and showing that the other person is worthless
you know more, they know nothing
you care more, they couldn’t care less

that life is full of expectations and disappointments

that people use him all the time
they only like him when he is quiet
they use him to feel good about themselves
they want to touch and hold him if he is cute
but when he cries, everyone hates him
and blames him for being upset
even though he is completely dependent
they will do little to help him feel better

that people judge you
based on how they feel about your parents

that he is special only to his parents

i must lose my life
to give him life

during the past two years
i have only aged
double or so
and i need to age faster
much faster
so this existence will be shorter

i will be lucky
if the agony of my existence
is not prolonged too much
this time around

i think that i have evolved enough
so far in this lifetime
to come back as a non-human
in the next cycle
please mother
no longer let me be human

help me to live as an animal
in the moment
re-born each second
alive

i want to be as low on the chain as possible
perhaps remaining as bacteria for a few million years

i think the higher up the chain you go
the more time you spend
trapped inside your head
in endless thoughts

the world teacher at a year and a half

the power of positive intention

(we don't need) no, we don't need (no more trouble) no more trouble!
(we don't need no more trouble)
wo! oh-oh-oh!
(we don't need) we don't need no (no more) trouble!
we don't need no trouble!
(we don't need no more trouble)
make love and not war! 'cause we don't need no trouble.
what we need is love (love)
to guide and protect us on. (on)
if you hope good down from above, (love)
help the weak if you are strong now. (love)
we don't need no trouble;
what we need is love. oh, no!
we don't need - we don't need - no more trouble!
lord knows, we don't need no trouble!

no more trouble by bob marley

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that which does not come into being, does not die

attachment is not love

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bright sky
blue, gray and white mixed together
with various strengths
deep, powerful sun
and a full moon

summer is here
days are long and hot
followed by sleepless nights
the land is parched
with no rain for several months
and over 90 degree heat
everyday
there is an occasional cool breeze
and it does get considerably cooler
close to the beach

oranges are still sweet
strawberry patch out back smells so good
as do the rose bushes
pulmerias are starting to bloom
birds busy courting

our lord
is so good
will go anywhere with us
locked into the car seat
for hours
without much complaining
stays in the stroller for an hour or so
when we go for walks

likes pushing the stroller backwards
or a garbage pail inside the house
like a shopping cart
going up and down
around and around

outside
the lord will
push the stroller for a while
then just walk off in another direction
going on a walk about
then come back to push the stroller some more
then off to walk about again
its so funny looking at the holy one do this

the chosen one loves it outside
puts rocks and sticks into the precious mouth
sometimes for attention
hunger, boredom, tiredness…

in my rush to take the lord
to see the mother
outside
i don’t feed the master enough
my poor vegan child
without a protein-centered diet
needs to eat more

likes standing on the edge of the curb
sticking the blessed feet
into the water by the curbside
going into the street
to test the royal boundaries
i keep repeating
cars drive on the road
moan “ow” while holding my head
and he’ll do it also

inside
i have to pick up mother’s favorite child
but not outside
gets bored with tv after ten minutes
playing with the same toys
listening to music
reading books

the vegan messiah
eats whatever we eat
cereal, kitchie, tufu
bread, roti
strawberry, watermelon, apple
corn, spinach
any bits or old pieces of food on the ground
the smaller the better

points out things
planes in the sky
cats or dogs
anything he wants to touch
or play with
loves buttons
so cute

keeps on saying things
practicing talking
“ow” for cat
“ree” for dog
“mo” for moon
“wait” from the top of the slide
for falling down and getting hurt
says “mammy”
like me and danny does
all the time
will attempt to repeat anything
when in the mood

the world teacher’s favorite sound is
“hmm”
whenever the master wants something its
“hmm…. hmm, hmm… hmm”
“hmm, hmm, hmm…”
little buddha then does the dance
runs off with five or six steps
turns around to see
if the lord will get his way
more dancing towards you while
“whaaaaaaaaaa…..”
until the chosen gets his way

no longer afraid of the slide
but likes it

will now share the water hose
for a few minute or so
then its back to watering
using the same method
as grandma
alternating between
watering the pot
and the ground
will not walk pass a hose
without going over
and saying “hmm, hmm”

the lord is almost 17 months
still with the same hair
smaller for the same age group
but learning a lot

very astute
observes keenly what we are doing
copies whatever adults do
remembers after weeks of absence
how to operate toys and appliances
knows when i am dressed and leaving
our lord, a mere child, is fully human already
no wonder we dominate the world

someone once said
never wish for something
you might get it
unexpectedly

if i want to try to raise my son
i have to sacrifice my ego
all of my lifelong desires
for fortune, fame and glory

there is so much ugliness inside
thought is an evil thing
causing murder, terrorism, war
it can even drive a parent to kill a child

it seems that earth
is a place set aside by the gods of chaos
to carry out a horrible experiment
to see how far selfishness can go
to test the limits of mechanical thought

love is
when thought is not

how long since
i’d spent a moment without thought
if ever

how long since
the entire species
had a single moment
any one of us
without thought

cincinnati's dream

a year before the day

gotta have art

hidden in plain sight

if i had the world to give
i'd give it to you - long as you live
would you let it fall
or hold it all in your arms?
if i had a song to sing
i'd sing it to you - as long as you live
lullabye - or maybe a plain serenade
wouldn't you laugh, dance, and cry
or be afraid at the trade you made?
i may not have the world to give to you
but maybe i have a tune or two
only if you let me be your world

could i ever give this world to you

the grateful dead

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"it is a far, far better thing that i do, than i have ever done;

it is a far, far better rest that i go to, than i have ever known."

charles dickens, a tale of two cities

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it was a beautiful day
warm
but not extra hot
cool by the afternoon
clear blue sky
all day

spring is so wonderful
flowers everywhere
the powerful scent of jasmine
nature’s perfume
fills the air
jacarandas are blooming
roses
so too the pink ground flower
on the parkway in front
along with the yellow ones
and purple morning glory on the other side
the guava tree in the courtyard
have beautiful edible flowers
the oranges are really sweet now
and there is a bunch of ripe bananas
hanging from a tall tree

the world teacher
is now 15 months
still going
very energetic
likes to do
everything his parents do
wants to be a grown up already
but still a child
sweet papoo
who loves to play
saying a few more words
vocalizes a lot
in a most beautiful language
learning more each day
playing hide and seek
peekaboo
runs around
likes to dance
loves the water hose
playing in the bathtub
walking on different surfaces
toss the pink rocks in the front
eats them to get my attention
likes cherry
kitchrie
bread
biscuits
anything off the floor

gets angry often
my love does
when the young master doesn’t get his way
he’ll bang the holy head on the wall
likes to test the limits
i set for the lord
wants to do whatever
especially when prevented
gets stressed
when others around are
very shy with strangers
not friendly with other infants
hates loud noises
still hasn’t had a haircut
hair down to his mid-back
some knotted in the back

so good though
so patient with me
when i am watching tv
i’m always so tired
i never rest enough for my guru
i get angry at his highness
impatient
annoyed
stressed by my lord’s crying
i try not to take it out on his excellency
to not respond with violence
to not mirror the world
i have never disciplined the chosen one
it is better to change his attention
get the buddha to focus on something else
of course, i hurt our savior a lot
he hits the most precious forehead on concrete
with a dull, loud thud
why???
poor little master
such a careless daddy
siddhartha deserves so much more
so good the lord is

my savior is so beautiful
likes playing with his mom
so comfortable with her
when nursing
they spend all day
and night
together
she never gets to sleep
the master nurses all night
keeps mom up all night
she takes good care of the lord
in the daytime as well
even though she gets no sleep
the lord’s mother
is truly a super mom
doing what fathers cannot do
literally nurturing the chosen one
raising the mother’s favorite child
the way the earth mother herself does
the lord is truly blessed to have such care
sush is also so tolerant of me
she puts up with all of my bad habits
and gives me more time than I deserve

i’m gone in the morning
for four hours
comes back tired
to my lord
desperate
for some change
still loves his dad
cries for me to pick the holy body up
i do the best to carry the enlightened one around
rock the buddha to sleep
until by back hurts

i feel so tired all day
never feeling rested
always frustrated
at not having time
to do what i want to
write
create
research
just gel out

what is my relationship to money?
i grew up wanting money
obsessed with becoming a millionaire
wishing my family had money

as a child
staying at my wealthy uncle’s house
rather than at my own working class home

as a young adult
taxing my brain to manufacture wealth
out of thin air
with countless entrepreneurial ideas
business plans and proposals
trying to make a dollar
out of 15 cents

but then i also saw what money did to my relatives
the more money they had,
the more greed, exploitation and violence
envy, jealousy, and hatred
fights, life-long feuds, and death wishes
something a child should never wish for a parent
i am glad and grateful in a way
that my parents and siblings are poor
at least we can all still sit in the same room
how much do i really need
as opposed to how much i want?

as an adult

i have never had a lot of money
the most i have ever had was $15,000 in cash
i always wished that i had just enough to live on
so then i could devote my life to meditation

to try to find the door

that leads to the outside of my head

it doesn't take much to live simply

and i became almost satisfied

with whatever i had

what kind of legacy will i leave my child

a man programmed to pursue money

day in and day out

doing the same thing over and over again

going to the office

spending more time with business associates

than with family

pursuing money

rather than life and relationships

now, most of my bills are being paid
and i am well on my way to medation mount
still have to make a small living
hopefully doing something i love to do
taking care of my child
working from home
doing art and creative writing
enjoying the silence…

yosemite 0407

reality bites

show me the meaning of the word
show me the meaning of the word
'cause i've heard so much about it
they say, "hey, you can't live without it"


welcome to the human race
with its wars, disease and brutality
you with your innocence and grace
restore some pride and dignity
to a world in decline


welcome to a special place
in a heart of stone that's cold and gray
you with your angel face

chrissie hynde, pretenders

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that human life must be a kind of mistake is sufficiently clear from the fact that man is a compound of needs, which are difficult to satisfy; moreover, if they are satisfied, all he is granted is a state of painlessness, in which he can only give himself up to boredom. this is a precise proof that existence in itself has no value, since boredom is merely the feeling of the emptiness of life.

arthur schopenhauer

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nights are freezing
mornings and evenings are cool
by mid-day it is 70 degrees
until 6 pm
it starts to get cold again
especially on the south side
of the valley
shaded by the mountains

it is 5,000 feet high
this valley floor
cold because of its elevation
but relatively warmer
because of the mountains
which trap heat
and breaks the winds

the mountains tower above
another 5,000 feet
above the yosemite valley
beautiful sheer faces
with magnificent profiles
each one
el capitan, half dome
north dome, sentinel dome
each with its own character
features
history

this sacred valley
of the miwok
and others
was carved
out of granite rock
by the power of water

powerful glaciers
made the first impressions
many others
over several ice ages
deepened the u-shape slope
to a depth of 7,000 feet
below the high sierra

in between each ice age
rivers and steams made their cuts
of the emerging mountains and valley
while expanding ice chiped away at the cliffs above
and rockslides added to the 2000 feet of fill
above the bedrock
carved out by the glaciers
that now forms the valley floor

water
from melting snow
form into
streams
creeks
rivers
ponds
rapids
waterfalls

water
as countless drops
along with the forces
of gravity
and wind
meander along
from the mountain tops
accumulating into steams
as it climbs down from the high sierra
into the valley
where several steams come together
to form the merced river
which flows out the valley
to the foothills below

the sounds of water
reverberate throughout the valley
from the continuous roar
of upper, middle and lower yosemite falls
add to this excitement
raucous rapids
and a burbling river
and you have a symphony in change

change is constant
the mighty yosemite falls
will be no more
come august
the gushing merced river
a gentle stream almost
in late summer
even the mountains
change slightly each year

the lord loves it here
running after squirrels and birds
pointing at the falls and streams
playing in the sand
by a stream
going for walks
in the pack on daddy’s back
being held while on a bus
looking at everything
taking in the constantly changing scene
seeing so many people and kids
cars, bicycles, buses
just loving it to be outside
all day
this is really a good trip for him
mother’s favorite child
wandering inside her favorite room
yosemite

so much beauty outside
such ugliness inside
no matter where i go
there i’ll be
with all of my
hunger
anger
fraustration
depression
hate
confusion
desire
selfishness
boredom
mediocrity

i expected so much
to change
in yosemite
to think different
to feel different
to act different
instead i found
i am the same
cheerless
in paradise
more unhappy
than usual
because i expected
to be less so
while here
and i am not
more convinced now
that i never will be
better
ever

i greet each new day
with the same personality
there is no discovery
only useless thoughts
unceasingly
second after second
minute following minute
hour behind hour
day into nite
year in and year out

i stare
at a beautiful waterfall
but i don’t see it
i only see myself
what i want
the falls to be
how i can use it
what can it do for me

i want the stunning mountains
to help me escape
from myself
to make me forget
my worries
my pain
my emptiness

i want this astonishing meadow
to give my life
meaning
joy
happiness

i never see
the falls
mountains
meadows
the way it actually is
without my desires
trying to make it
into something personal

as jk points out
the observer
is the observed

i stare
with eyes open wide
but with a closed mind
too busy
to stop
and just look

i never made it to yosemite
because i never left
inside my head

the fall
is
when i am not

the fall is there
only when i am not there
silent
without
a single movement
of thought

anticipating paradise

i'm a man with a one track mind
so much to do in one lifetime
(people do you hear me)
not a man for compromise and where's and why's and living lies
so i'm living it all, yes i'm living it all
and i'm giving it all, and i'm giving it all
oooh oh yeah yeah - ha ha ha ha ha
yeah yeah yeah yeaaah
i want it all

it ain't much i'm asking, if you want the truth
here's to the future
hear the cry of youth (hear the cry of youth) (hear the cry of youth)
i want it all, i want it all, i want it all and i want it now

freddie mercury

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roy batty:
i've seen things you people wouldn't believe.
attack ships on fire off the shoulder of orion.
i watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the tannhauser gate.
all those moments will be lost in time,
like tears in rain.
time to die.

bladerunner

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the weather is just beautiful
perfect spring weather
not too hot
not too cold
perfect in every way
the morning is cloudy
and chilly
it warms up by nine
and is great by ten or eleven
stays warm until the sun sets
at seven pm

a cold front
came through one afternoon
in minutes
turing the beautiful warm, sunny day
into a dark, cloudy filled
stormy sky
like a cold hurricane
with strong sustained winds
and powerful raindrops
simply amazing weather
it lasted for ten minutes at the most
then just as sudden
it was gone
an hour later
it was bright, warm sunny skies again

nature will always
have a few surprises
for the lordly humans
ruling the planet
ruining the earth
masters of their own
individualized universes
destiny ordained
as do all living creatures
to become dust in the wind

the lord
definitely has a personality
loves to play
dance
playing with water in a glass
holding the water hose
tipping plates over
standing on everything
loves reading the popup books
will climb the wall trying to get to them
like the kangaroo
that jumps as i say “hop”
jad says “hop”

at fourteen months
discernibly intelligent
able to predict my moves
and plan evasive ones
is hard to keep boxed in
always testing boundaries

sushila noticed
that siddhartha knows there is a difference
between two identical remotes
that controls two different lights
our master seeks out one of two remotes
to control the outside light

i sometimes
notice our savior
lost in thought
staring into space
the mahatma’s attention
is gone
for a minute or so
the buddha laughs
by himself
finding things funny
and laughing
when others around him laughs
even strangers

the world teacher
falls and hits his head
on the concrete
flat on his forehead
gets a big bump
for days
poor baby
i feel so bad
whenever i hurt him
by accident

grandma learned the chosen one
“don’t touch”
and the master says it perfectly
with the same intonation and inflection
also says in the right context
like whenever i say no
to the mother’s favorite child doing something
i don’t want him to do
my teacher says
“don’t touch.”
guruji even wakes up saying
“don’t touch.”

the enlightened one
was saying something
for sometime
and we couldn’t figure it out
then one day
sitting outside
the neighbor, jeff
a boy seven years old
said “i think he just said very good.”
then we finally realized
what he was saying,
trying to repeat
what we are always saying
to him
“very good”

we are heading to yosemite
for ten days of spring break
the messiah’s first road trip

life has so much meaning
taking care of mother’s favorite child
taking care of life itself

if i care for my child
i would make sure
that he had all of my time
this was my choice
not his
i have no reason to complain
this is what he is
a needy child
who needs a village
but is lucky to get a nuclear family
rather than a single parent

if i can’t fine the courage
to ignore the world of work
accumulation
“success”
to find the time
in order to provide my vegan child
with sustenance
and a warm, loving
learning-rich environment
why bother
raising a child
growing up
in need
in greed
in heed

the future is now
i must be the example
i would like my child to become
thoughtful
creative
loving
fulfilled
playful
joyful
meditative
silent

gotta have art

is this the real life,
is this just fantasy,
caught in a landslide,
no escape from reality,
open your eyes
look up to the skies and see
i'm just a poor boy,
i need no sympathy
because i'm easy come, easy go,
a little high, little low,
anyway the wind blows,
doesn't really matter to me,
to me

freddie mercury

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unseasonably warm day
for early march
80 degrees
with a slight wind
the clouds are stunning
all day
puffs of radial shapes
against a bright blue sky
sea gulls flock on the beach
of white sand
they frolic and bathe
in a stream
flowing back to the sea
immense sheet of glass
as far as the eye can see
reflecting the blue sky
powerful
unassuming
everlasting
everchanging

sush, baby and our lord
spent the day at the beach
at first the buddha was afraid of the sand
and could not move without falling down
but the master was soon off having fun
with buckets and shovels

me and the holy one
played with the tides
and got soaked
the world teacher was tired
and wanted to sit
but loved it very much

we stayed for sunset
the clouds became even more beautiful
with a dark, deep and rich red colors
lighting up wisps and puffs of clouds
far across the horizon
reflected in the water
in a sea of orange
blue and grey

raising your own child
and being very involved in their lives
is such an overwhelming
and life changing experience
you have no time to understand it
until you are dead
but then it’s a little late

a year later
and i am still in shock
i can’t believe my eyes
that such a creature
could emerge from nothing
life is a miracle indeed

like narcissus
who could not stop
staring at his own reflection
so too i cannot stop
staring at my own reflection
in the holy son

growing so fast
a year and a month
walks very well
runs a little
talks a lot
wish i knew what the buddha says
tries to communicate
for food, water, sleep
and for daddy
claps his hands
tries to stand
on everything
loves buttons
playing with boom box
opens and closes
cassette player, doors

we go outside
in the front yard
back yard
side walk
the master walks around
picking up leaves
sticks
rocks
old bits of food
tries to bite it all

we are attached
our savior and i
i rush home to see the annointed one
and our lord to my arms
i “love” his holiness
more than the buddha “loves” me

this god doesn’t love me
one bit
don’t even know what love is
don’t care to know
doesn’t like being trapped
in a hug
don’t know how to kiss
the master just is

the world teacher uses me
to solve problems
meet needs
pain
boredom
hunger
thirst
sleep
fear

i don’t care
that our lord doesn’t "love" me
i love his holiness anyways
why can’t i
treat everyone the same?

these days
i am doing some art
a little photography
writing a novel

sips of water
to a man
dying of thirst
for art
creativity
connection
to the universe

showing by example
that life is more
much more
than work
money
possessions

life
is also about self expression
finding one's voice
sharing oneself
with the world

busy in play
enjoying the day
a speck of sand
on a west coast beach
thoughtless for a moment
gone the next

the lord is one

quantum realities

without going out of your door
you can know all things on earth
without looking out of your window
you can know the ways of heaven

the farther one travels
the less one knows
the less one really knows

arrive without travelling
see all without looking
do all without doing

- the inner light, george harrison

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eleven months ago
the holy son entered our realm
and though our lord cannot speak
this temporal being is very expressive

whenever the master looks up
and sees and recognizes
me, mom or grandma
seeing anyone of us
as a new person for that day
our savior immediately stands up
and demands to be picked up
the boy genius stiffens his head and upper body
pushes down on the royal arms
stand and stomps the holy feet
makes a face
by closing and opening his eyes rapidly
pouts
and makes a particular cry
it works everytime

our lordship makes the cutest sounds
little buddha’s baby talk is
musically bubbly
indescribably beautiful
like pebbles in a tin can
the prince says, “dat”, “dag” and “hot”
sush tells his honor
you speak kannada so beautifully

our bouncing baby boy
dances
rocks the sacred upper body
back and forth
waves a magical right hand
up and down
from head to waist
points
and hums
what coordination
the frontal lobe creature
loves it when i dance
and jump up and down
with the great one in my arms
siddhartha will then
refuse to be put down

the world teacher
is learning to kick a ball
such a joy to watch our master doing this
kicking and chasing a ball
all wobbly-like
cute ducky
so strong
his holiness is
falls
runs into me
bangs the precious head
gets hurt
often
but keeps on going
energizer bunny

the dalai lama is very patient
tantrums
are few
and never too long
screaming
arching the royal back
throwing himself down
always over being alone
or something taken away
or if our master is hungry
or tired

the buddha loves eating
ah food
a piece of food
bread, tufu, cereal, fruit
any food
makes the world teacher happy
holds all food in the holy left hand
as part of a upright fist
taking nibbles at it
from time to time
sadly
sometimes big chunks
make the zen master choke
poor chap
so innocent
our savior does not know better
adults do not understand our lord
choking all the time
it must be so scary
and painful
for his holiness
so irrepressible
bounces back in no time
ready for another round

my lord is my guide
but is hard to follow
to worship
work unpaid
for a child
alongside
not instead of
its mother
but i have faith
the mother provides
i will try to be there
for her charge
as much as i can
irregardless
of finances
shame or insult
my preception of reality
is exceptionally clear
morally correct
fluid
flexible
invisible
multi-centered
mutually contradictory
and yet
unshakeable
in this and perhaps
several parallel universes

i saw three movies recently
born into brothels
turtles can fly
paradise now
all deeply moving
i became overwhelmed
each time

so much pain
so little hope
in the world
dalits in india
selling their bodies for a living
kurds in iraq
sacrificing limbs to mine fields
arabs in palestine
sacrificing bodies in resistance
why is there such cruelty
am i not the cause?

i am selfish
pursuing self interest
i exploit others
i am lustful
greedy
violent
i am the problem
to be free from all this
i need to be silently aware
watching
every movement
of thought
of self
until thought comes to an end
on its own accord
and leaves me
aware
watching
in silence

the king of love

once upon this planet earth,
lived a man of humble birth,
preaching love and freedom for his fellow man,

he was dreaming of a day,
peace would come to earth to stay,
and he spread this message all across the land.

turn the other cheek he’d plead,
love thy neighbor was his creed,
pain humiliation death, he did not dread

with his bible at his side,
from his foes he did not hide,
it’s hard to think that this great man is dead. (oh yes)

will the murders never cease,
are thy men or are they beasts?
what do they ever hope, ever hope to gain?

will my country fall, stand or fall?
is it too late for us all?
and did martin luther king just die in vain?

why? (the king of love is dead) by gene taylor
recorded by nina simone, 1967

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sunny, windy
unseasonably cold for la
30 degrees at night
cold even in the daytime
visibility is wonderful
the air has a crispness,
a cleanness about it

the vibrant and bountiful
plantain trees
are not doing well
the older, taller leaves
burnt from the cold
the two bunch of plantain
are still fine though
so too hundreds of ripe oranges
a winter's harvest

it’s late morning,
the sounds float by…
neighbor’s howling dog
piano from the radio
spouse flipping pages of a magazine
baby’s toy
the phone rings
it is ignored

today is especially sacred
a day spent in remembrance of mlk
contemplating racism, violence and greed
a life well lived
and worth living
leaving the world a better place
doing something about global warming

at 11 months
the buddha is very cute
growing so much in every way
physically, mentally, emotionally
young master loves to play
and dance to music
our savior is able to walk quite good
but trips on anything on the ground
and falls down very often
especially when turning
bumps the royal head too much

the world teacher is very vocal
in a language all his own
makes a guttaral "haaw"
to imitate a cow's "moo"
"ba" for ball
and of course "dada"
whenever he sees me
and as a sign of approval
makes other sounds as well
does so much that is missed
by my inattention

baby jad eats everything we eat
loves fruit
banana, pear, avacado
loves chinese, mexican,
italian and indian
does not mind a little spicy
loves soy milk
and like daddy
every kind of bread

lord buddha learns everything
all that i am and do
from eating to dancing
our sun wants to be attended all of the time
cries for his daddy to pick him up
and i of course do

i am mostly at home with him
from time to time
enjoying moments
just watching him

there is a mystery
still present
inside our lord
a sense of wonder
and alertness

we took the master
to the library
and saw how happy he was
watching the huge fish tank
walking in new sorroundings
one with the universe

days blend into nights
nights into days
life is spent
in the company of our charge
mother’s favorite child