i failed you

So here's your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when you're dead and gone
Will you remember this night, twenty years now lost.
It's not right

Stay Together For The Kids - Blink 182

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i am everything

birds chatter
leaves rustle
in a gentle wind
its close to 90 degrees
summer's heat is here
and spring flowers

i am all
whatever i experience
accumulate
from the media
whatever i add
to the images i create
of my wife
workplace
relationship

a phone call
to make sure
i was home
to answer the door

knock, knock
divorce papers

not the home inspection promised
more like a home destruction
with a big nail
in the coffin
of the lord

the first of many nails to come

why not start with the biggest nail early
he might as well get used to it
was there ever anything else
he could have expected
in the first place

with your coming, my lord
life has changed
for two selfish fools

both near fatally wounded
from previous attachments
and still carrying scars

away from dad's huge family
living in mom's village
of only three people
grandma and grandpa
overworked and busy
and disabled uncle
who mom fights with
constantly

never really together
it didn't take much
to drive dad and mom apart

dad started smoking again
a harsh word here and there
a part-time job instead of full

chose to focus on community work
instead of taking care of you
and mom

the lord's birth
placed mom in a sleepless state
shell shocked
from 24/7 childcare

mom sees immediate needs
of food and attention
dad sees long term needs
for self-esteem and right livelihood

mom sees immediate confusion
and danger from accidents
dad sees long term confusion
and danger from greed

the lord needs both
more than just living
our lord needs to learn
how to live

or the young master will become like mom
overcritical and never pleased
always worrying about money
instead of focusing on being happy
failing to enjoy life
as it passes each day

the lord must not become like this

our savior should try to find meaning
to be happy
to end thought