pause

tommy can you here me?
can you feel me near you?
tommy can you see me?
can i hope to cheer you?



walking to the park
with buddha and tom
the lord in a carrier
on my chest
with feet dangling

many children
moving around care free
lost in fun and play

she is a little girl
about four
could not talk too well
kept saying baby
walking towards us
trying to touch jad
asking why, why, why
at my refusal

siddartha is scared
with us on the swing
he loves being outside
just looking
lots of cries of joy
giggling

when not lost in observation
his single desire
is to grab everything
by himself
and put it into his mouth

four and a half months old
with so much to learn
from muscle control and balance
to communication and language
from fear and depression
to endlessly thinking



pause


constant thinking


pause...


is it possible?
i don't know


but the pausing of the self
is the greatest purpose in life


pause

a moment's pause
from everything inside

pause

pause
the brain racing
thought's lines never ending
wearing itself out
reviewing over and over
my autobiography

pause

pause
self-obsession
from thought to thought
for a lifetime
living in my own mind

pause

pause
the me
i, i, i
awake or subconsciously
constantly talking to myself
thinking i'm
bad or good
worthless or meaningful
defeated or confident
arrogant or humble
altruistic or selfish
me, me, me
its always all about me

pause

pause
the operating system
just once
for a second
for a single moment
in my entire life
pausing all of the software
just letting the hardware be
which does not require constant thinking

pause

pause
observing life
through the senses
living life
uninterpeted

pause

pause
the illusion of continuity
of the me
of time
of memory
of identity

pause

pause
thought ending
by itself
without seeking
unsought for

pause

pause
with thought's death
with i's death
in silence
the moment's comes alive
the body renews itself
i think...
(ha ha ha)