My lawyer finally showed up at the court, two hours late. He immediately met with the child's mother and her attorney outside the court room. Then he met with me outside. He asked me to sign the same agreement I already signed on Friday to avoid going before the judge. I refused. Since we had both made the effort to go court, I figured we might as well go through with it.
We went back inside the court room. The bailiff called the judge out and the four of us went before him. The judge asked about the mediation, then answered himself that it was obvious nothing was agreed to, otherwise why did we show up there today.
Then he asked her side what they wanted. The child's mother answered that she was fine with joint legal and physical custody. Then the judge asked her what she wanted for visitation. She said, "Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday from 2:00 pm to 8:00 pm." She didn't mention overnights.
The judge asked me if I was okay with that. I said no, since it ran into his nap time. So then the judge asked me what I wanted. I said, "From 10:00 am to 8:00 pm." He said that's a little long. Then he asked the child's mother, "how about 4:00 pm?" She reluctantly agreed.
The judged then ordered visitation to be as follows: Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday from 10:00 pm to 4:00 pm. Six hours a day, three days a week, for a total of 18 hours.
This is exactly what I asked for at the first mediation four months ago. The child's mother refused, and it took two hearings, another mediation, and a judge, for me to get just four more hours with my son. This is not a good start. It show just how combative our co-parenting will be.
Thankfully, the judge agreed to grant me visitation hours in the daylight. The main reason I was upset at the child's mother was due to her refusal to let me see my son in the daytime.
Then her lawyer argued over transportation, saying that the reason why they were opposed to 4:00 pm was that it was rush hour. They said that it was my choice to move far away, so I should pick up and drop off the child each day. The judge decided that I would do the pick up and drop off on Tuesday and Thursday, and the mother would do it on Saturday.
Her lawyer then argued that I needed to attend court-certified anger management classes. My lawyer said that the counselor I was already going to was fine. The judge agreed, but then said that I should go for three months. He asked me if I was fine with this.
I hesitated a moment then said no. A million things went through my mind. I wanted to say how unfair it all was. The mother who destroys a child's life and family is considered normal, not angry, and definitely not in need of any treatment or classes.
But the father who wants to keep his family together, and is upset over its destruction, that he is in need of anger management. It was a final slap in the face, kick in the back, and stomp on the head. It says to a father - get over it, move on, accept the inevitable. You and your child's life together is over. I wanted to scream, to shout.
My lawyer mumbled, "that's 16 classes." Thankfully, I remained silent. The judged said, "alright, since you've done two sessions, do eight more." Ten weeks of classes was what they asked for. The judge assigned ten sessions with a therapist that I actually need at this stressful time.
Then, the discussion moved on to support. The lawyers argued over imputed income and the fact that we were both unemployed, and finally the judge gave a figure close to $500 a month. Her claim for legal fees was put off until trial, in two months.
I should have asked for another day of visitation. I'll have to do this at trial.
