overcast day
cool fog blowing from the gray ocean
waves break suddenly
close to shore
rushing to the child
splashing in the puddle
reaching up short legs and knees
scaring dad
i haven't been here in a while
it hurts too much to even think of my child
i try not to think about him
when he's not around
we're only partially related now
18 hours a week
less than a day
with stretches of two days
alone
he's always excited to see me
and fights to stay in my arms
when leaving
but then she bribes him with something
and he gives up
and goes to mother
poor child
always having to choose
whether to chop off
his right arm or left
since he can never have both
why do mothers think
they can punish their children this way
and not suffer dire consequences
for generations
watching their children suffer
will result in endless guilt
their children will resent everyone
for a life spent in strife
and develop unhealthy relationships
the cycle will continue
and this pain will be revisited
all over again
from the other side
mothers may know a lot about creating life
but they are completely thoughtless
when it comes to understanding
and respecting
the feelings of the lifeforms they create
and those of their co-creators
such abuse of power
always ends up
abusing the minds of the powerful
speaking of abuse
i am penniless
i haven't earned any money
in four months
me and my child could use a bit of money
for food
yet the child's mother refuses to give me a cent
from my own rental property
since filing for divorce seven months ago
jad and i
spend a few precious hours together
we watch for trucks on the way home
enjoy diego while we eat
then go to the park and beach
we watch for doggie poo on the ground
pick flowers and birdie food
we feed the squirrel nuts
collect eucalyptus seeds
and play in the dirt
we climb down the long steps
and walk over the bridge
that crosses pch
and watch trucks and motorcycles
pass underneath
we walk down to the sand
push in the swing
walk to the water
look for sandcastles
collect shells
splash in puddles
dry off and head back to the swings
climb up and over the bridge
all the way back up the cliff
walk along the park
and blocks over to daddy's new home
alot of exercise
all the while
breathing ocean air
we eat some more
watch diego
play with cars
and it time to go
to drive to cerritos
daddy's old home
i go over the same route
alone to the park and beach
without my child
staring at the ocean
ending attachment
ending thought
