crescent moon smiling
at morning star
wisps of fog
rolling over hills
tall redwoods
and a crowd of familiar strangers
a park at dawn
is heaven for awaking birds
having rejected the outside
humans have no relationship
to our natural world
to the life in it
ourselves included
stuck in the past
trapped inside our heads
lonely
isolated
in our own self-inflicted rejection
all we are is emotional pain
can love be granted and withdrawn
is romance real or fantasy
who is the one that rejects
who is it that gets rejected
what is one rejected from
an entire life
spent in a bubble
fearfully monogamous
to avoid rejection
yet always punctured
and deflated by rejection
it is painful the first time
and the last
after three years
seven years
or 14
after small rejections
and bigger ones
worst of all
each time like clockwork
all previous rejections
that never really went away
rush out from hiding
to assault self-esteem
from all fronts
burning all comfort and joy
in an unrelenting march of tears
being a reject
is always painful
whatever the reason given
absence, religion, money
none less painful than another
and in confused frustration
rejection hurts even more
as you reject another's advance
feeling the same desolation
as you do
animals
escaping reality
exploring romantic fantasies
playing ego's games
are bound to suffer
rejection is also internal
my relationships ended
when i changed
and rejected parts of myself
i no longer wanted to be
carnivorous
uncreative
greedy
denying social responsibility
as long as i played the game
i was tolerated
my tragedy has been
that i never remain the same
i continue to learn and grow
accumulating a heavy burden of truth
until i can deny it no longer
each time i know
that if i change the rules
the game would be over
but i am left with no choice
i reject parts of myself
and the other
as a consequence
as they refuse to change
in the romance cycle
we're not trying to find someone else
we merely seeking validation
of ourselves
and when this ends
so too does romance
in a narcissistic game
in which we "love" only ourselves
reflected in others
for those bent on change
buried in rejections' ashes
there is tremendous growth
and strength
i will undo no change
for reconciliation
a reject from the world of men
greed and possessions
truth is a lonely path
as i walk daily
i remind myself
this path cannot be shared
by anyone else
least of all
someone from a different path
an animal refusing to change
from a life spent
in unrelenting pursuit
of romantic escapism
from rejection
