i've finally decided to start a blog...tough week at work.
its testing week. oh boy.
plus i've been sick all week. not again!
is it stress or lowered immunity?
one leads to the other.
but tgif !
i've been away from jaddi for three days now
don't want to make him sick
it is my first separation from him
do i really miss him? after only three months since his birth, i am not as attached
of course i am too selfish to even miss him
i'm enjoying this freedom away from childcare
but when i see him something happens to me
i feel all teary and emotional
especially when he cries and cries
and i feel helpless since i cannot come near him
and i feel guilty for possibly making him sick
and for leaving sush alone to take care of him
before this three day separation i was feeling more attached
i told others that i was falling more in love with him everyday
but of course it is not love
its attachment
love cannot exist when there is desire
love cannot exist when there is thought
love is when i am not
and i am definitely here
thinking, thinking, thinking
2 am and still here
is there any rest for me tonight?
how do i turn off this seemingly eternal light
that keeps me in darkness
and sorrow
boredom
desire?
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